The need to say NO!

Saw a FB friend posted this on her wall.

How many of us are guilty of this?

How many of us are not firm with our kids?

How many of us WISH we were firm with our kids AFTER the episode ended?

I am glad to say that we have always use this 2 letters word "N"+"O" on Little DinoEgg. Since the day he was mobile, the word NO has been thrown at him whenever he wanders into forbidden areas, touch/play with forbidden things.

When he hits the T2 NO was used quite often when he misbehaves.  It was also used when he wants to buy toys whenever we stepped into the departmental store and inevitably headed to the toy section to look-see.    Perhaps its because I have always preempted him before we stepped in that "We are just going to look (emphasizing the word) at the toys, we are not buying (emphasizing the words) any toys, ok?".  Whether he fully understand what I've just said or he simply just agrees with me by nodding his head or answering "ok" wasn't really important, he is afterall a 2yrs old, but he must at least have an idea of what I am trying to tell him.  Of course all those eye-catching, must-have toys beckoning at him makes him forget what was said 5mins ago and he picked 1 up wanting me to buy.  I have to remind him about the "rule" and he will put the toy back obediently.  We only have ONE meltdown at Kiddy Palace when he was 2yrs old, he was into excavators and this really big one caught his eye.  He actually grabbed the toy and start walking out of the store!  Some coaxing, reasoning & negotiating (yeah with a 2yrs old) for a full 20mins to a teary & whinning him and he reluctantly put the toy back to the shelf, we left the store in dried tears (thank god there were no rolling on the floor tantrums or wailing or screaming from him).

Its heart wrenching to see a toddler showing a disappointed look on their cute little angel face, that's human nature and its call Feelings.  Its especially difficult if its your child giving you the look.  However, we have to stand firm and be hard-hearted at times.

As he grows older, our NO was counter-attacked with WHY?  Why I can't have this toy(s)?  Why I can't eat biscuits?  Why I can't go to Por-Por's (grandma) house?  Why this Why that. He knows jolly well the reason for us saying NO, we explain to him again n again but being a child its very difficult to accept NO as an answer.  And he try to banter, reason, bargain & argue too.  All these will only earn him a firmer NO from us or got chided off by us.  Of course when he did show us improvements on his behavior (Notice that its behavior that we are more concern?  We do not have any issues with his academic performance) we (most of the time its daddy) lavish with toys that he deserves.  We deliver what we preached and promised.

We are trying to teach him that life is not a bed of roses and he can't have his ways every time.  He must first earn our approval that he deserves the rewards by showing us that he is well behaved both in school & at home.  If we do not start to instil such disciplined mindset and thoughts since young, how will he be able to survive in the "outside world"?  How will he handle rejections & failures in the school environment and later on in the working society?  How can he set a goal for himself to achieve or even excel in it?  How then, will he be a better kid, a better adult, a better person, a better husband, a better father?